There are some things you can never forget.
Alzheimer’s has begun to take away Emmy Jacobs mother. In order to fulfill a promise to her fading mother, Emmy disrupts all that is dear and familiar and embarks on an unknown journey.
As life begins to fall into place, a trauma that shattered the Jacob’s life is awakened from the past. An accusation points to Emmy’s mother. Do the consequences count if someone’s mind is fading?
A desperate Emmy begins to dig for the truth while keeping her family united.
But as Emmy gets closer to the truth, she may discover it can be the most dangerous thing of all.
Targeted Age Group:: Adults
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
Working in Health Care. you see so many families torn apart by things they can't control. I also saw a lot of people leaning on religion as a coping mechanism and I wanted to explore that aspect as well. However, I wanted to explore the darker side of it. Some people take advantage of that and it ends up being healthy.
How Did You Come up With Your Characters?
Coming up with characters was a fairly natural process. I wanted to explore the closeness of a mother and daughter bond. However, as an added element I also wanted to portray a tight knit family unit suffering from an added tragedy. It goes to show you that no given amount of time can ease a loss.
I’ve always hated these walls. They have no color. I crave color; I like the
warmth but he has no patience for it. Everything in this house is arguably
flawless, but it’s cold and it bears no character. The walls shine with white. Is
white even a color? I don’t think it should have that right. White walls, white
furniture, even the paintings that hang have no meaning, no life. They simply
represent a number. And what is that number? Simple….expensive.
I shifted my heavy eyes to the clock. The loud, ticking clock. Its incessant
noise rang loud in my ears. It was just after three p.m. and here I was, alone
at the kitchen table. I let out a heavy sigh; this was not how the day was
supposed to play out. I was not supposed to sit here in our house so
completely broken, knowing my world had shifted. For you see, today my
mother did not recognize me. I knew this day would come, but I didn’t expect
it to come so soon. Seven months ago my mother was diagnosed with
Alzheimer’s and though she had begun to fade in and out, she always knew
who I was. Always.
But today, I fell from her thoughts. I was nothing. I simply disappeared. I
squeezed my eyes shut and thought back to earlier in the afternoon. My
mother’s kind brown eyes were heavy in confusion as I let out a sob at her
simple question. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
“I’m your daughter, Emmy.”
My mother fluttered her thick lashes once , clearly perplexed. “No, no you
can’t be. I’m sorry but I don’t have any children.”
And in true motherly fashion, she leaned forward and placed my hand
within hers. She stroked it comfortingly. “I hope you find your mother.”
I snapped my eyes open and shoved back the kitchen chair. The legs
scraped against the tiled floor and protested with a high-pitched squeal.
“Emmy! Be careful. That floor isn’t cheap.” Sean, my boyfriend strode in
and gawked at me like I was a disobedient child.
I stared up at his immaculate features, he too, like this house was flawless.
Sean’s skin tone was forever kissed by the sun. His dark brown hair fell
perfectly and matched his eyes. His physique was hard earned but he wore it
effortlessly. Despite his physical perfections, he lacked genuine emotion,
mostly sympathy. Work and finances were his true love. They gathered all of
his attention; I merely was the cute trophy attached to his arm. Sean would
not notice that I was emotionally devastated, not unless it affected him
personally. And my mother held no connection to him whatsoever.
“Sorry,” I muttered. “It was a rough day.” I took a shattered breath and
my mother’s vacant look flashed through my mind once more.
Sean raised an eyebrow and took a step closer. “Your mother?”
“Yes. She…she forgot who I was today.”
“Well, that’s common for her condition, right?”
I bristled at his matter of fact tone. “Yes, but that doesn’t make it any
“Look on the bright side of things. You don’t have to visit her as often,
she won’t know the difference.”
My jaw gaped open and I stared up at the man I shared a roof with. His
eyes fell to me and he shrugged his shoulders carelessly. “It’s true Em. And
you know it.”
“How can you even say that to me? She’s my mother! She will have some
good days; I want to be there for all of them. I don’t know how many she will
“Suit yourself. “Sean checked his watch. “Oh great. I’m behind schedule.
I’ll be home late, I have a meeting at the office today.”
“Of course you do,” I whispered.
“What was that?”
“Nothing. I hope it goes well.”
But he was already gone. And once again, I was alone with the ticking of
“Emmy, honey. How are you?”
My heart skipped a beat at my mother’s words. She knew who I was today.
“Hi mom, how are you?”
My mother raised a brow. “You’re avoiding the question. I asked you first.
How are you?”
“No you’re not. Don’t you lie to me young lady. Sit down and spill it.”
I couldn’t help but smile and did as I was told. I flopped into the plush
seat across from my mother. I took my time staring at the vacant white walls
and furniture. Everything in this room was clinical and sterile. I began to tap
my fingers nervously on the couch and avoided my mother’s eyes. “I’ve been
better. You…you didn’t recognize me yesterday.”
The color drained instantly from my mother’s features and her knuckles
turned white as she gripped onto the sides of the chair. Her face twisted with
agony and sheer terror. “No.” She gasped. “No!”
Guilt tore through me and I rushed to her side. My mother stood up
abruptly. “How could I forget my own daughter? No! This can’t be possible.
How could this happen to me?”
As my mother’s voice continued to rise a nurse came rushing in. “What’s
happening? Audrey, are you okay?”
My mother turned half wild towards the nurse. “I forgot my daughter
yesterday? How could I do that? The doctor said I would have more time!”
The nurse spoke in a soothing manner. “Audrey, there is no textbook time
line on a thing like Alzheimer’s. We try our best to understand it, but each
case is unique.”
My mother took the words in and her brown eyes fell to me. “I’d like to
be alone with my daughter please.”
The nurse studied the situation and nodded. “Okay.” She left the room
and shut the door quietly behind her.
“Sit down Emmy. Please.”
The sombre tone in which she took left no room for argument. I sat back
into my seat and watched as my mother composed her features. When she
looked up at me, all the fear she possessed earlier was gone. Her delicate angles
looked soft and calm.
My mother cleared her throat. “I don’t know how much time I have left.
Well, moments that I’ll remember anyways.”
My mother cut me off sharply. “Emmy, please just listen to me. First and
foremost, you are my heart. I am so proud of who you are as a person and I
love you to the moon and back. When my mind disappears, I don’t know
where I go. I simply don’t remember it. It’s like I’m asleep and everything
goes quiet. It doesn’t entirely feel real to me.”
I swallowed back the tears that had begun to form. My hand clutched my
heart and I had to bite my lip to stop it from trembling. My mother met my
gaze and she smiled, ever so softly.
She cleared her throat once more and continued. “Please don’t ever think
that I could forget you; that is simply not possible. You are with me wherever
I go. When I do not remember the world around me, or the words I speak,
and the mother you know is no longer here, remember one thing. She is not
I. She may take my form, but her memories are not my own. Her feelings are
not my feelings. You, Emmy, are my world. This disease does not change that.
Through my blurry-eyed vision, my mother held herself with the grace of
a swan. She reached across the end table and grasped my hand. “I’m not done
yet. There is so much to say in such little time.”
“What else could there be?” I choked.
My back stiffened and confusion took over my features.
My mother went on quickly. “I am stuck with a disease that I did not
choose. My mind is going to be muddled, and my life will be compromised.
That is against my will. But you Emmy, you’re world has been compromised
for a long time by him and that is your choice. You can fix it. It is time for
you to walk away. He is your disease, and you hold the power to change it.”
The reality of her words struck me cold. I knew Sean wasn’t her favourite
person but she had never shared her true thoughts with me. When most
people first met Sean, they were taken in and charmed by his good looks and
seductive smile. But that had never swayed my mother, for she saw him for
what he truly was. An anchor.
“You haven’t been happy for a very long time, Emmy. You surround
yourself by miserable people in his world. Shallow and petty; they are not
your friends. Your hobbies have long since been erased. I have watched over
the years silently, but I can’t do it anymore. Time is running out.” She took
a deep breath.
“I have watched him take little pieces of you over time and bury them
away. He was smart about it, I’ll give him that. The pieces he chipped away
at first were so small, you didn’t notice. But over time, those tiny fragments
add up to who you once were, are, as a person.”
My mother took a heavy breath and suddenly looked old. “I fear that you
are lost. You need to get out, get out now. Being alone isn’t a bad thing. Give
yourself time to find yourself. A true partner in life will not stifle who you are,
they will nourish it. You need to find your spark again. I did not raise you to
settle, I raised you to be a force that dared not be reckoned with.” Audrey
took a shaky breath and raised her eyes to mine. “I need to know that you will
be happy. Please, Em, try to understand it from my point of view.”
The words carried with them a heavy blow. My heart ached in a way that
I had never felt before. In the depths of my stomach something twisted into
a sharp, painful knot. Her words were true, this I knew, and I had known it
for quite some time. But it was hard to walk away. I had dreamt of doing so
many times, but he always drew me back in. And it was warm, loving, cozy,
and safe. But it never lasted long. Once he felt I was compliant once again,
things would go back to being the same. Cold, distant, and I became nothing
more than his puppet and trophy.
It wasn’t always this way. In the beginning, I was excited to be seen on his
arm, to next to him. No one had ever noticed me before, and all of a sudden,
everyone wanted to be me. For once in my life, money was never an issue. He
gave me all the clothes and shoes I could only dream about. With him by my
side, no place was to far; no dream was out of reach. People envied us. They
wanted to be us. Women’s eyes would drink him in, and I could feel men’s
stares brush against my skin. But we weren’t the pretty picture we appeared
to be. They didn’t see what happened when the dancing stopped and the
music came to a halt.
My mother’s words rang with the harsh truth. Over time, he had taken
little pieces of me and put them on the shelf. My new wardrobe quickly
replaced my old one. My worn jeans with holes were tossed away, forever
erasing my roots and where I came from. A personal trainer was then assigned
to me. He moulded me into all the women that frequented the galas and
benefits we attended. The next thing to change was my hair. I had thick,
espresso hair that brushed against my collarbone. It was the ideal length for a
lifetime spent in the barn and on the circuit. But no, it wasn’t good enough.
Extensions were put in, and the color was lightened to an unnatural blonde.
My blue eyes were heightened by the color, but when I looked into the mirror;
I no longer saw myself staring back.
“Do you like to dance?”
My mother’s voice tore me from my thoughts. My brows pulled in
confusion at her question. “Since when do you dance, Mom?”
As I studied my mother, my smile fell. Her bright eyes looked faraway and
distant. She hummed along to a song only she could hear. My mother
suddenly stood up as if she weighed nothing at all. She moved to the song
inside her head. Despite knowing that her mind had drifted into a time before
me, I was mesmerized by her movement. Her body moved with the strength
and grace of a ballerina. She floated over the floor in such a skilled way, I
realized at some point in her life she had formal training as a dancer. As I
watched her, I wondered why someone so talented would have ever stopped,
nonetheless tell me about it. Despite the beauty in the show, sadness overtook
me. I wrapped my arms around myself and knew that my mother was
temporarily gone. Her mind had taken her away from me, but I took a small
comfort in the fact that she looked happy. If she were to slip away forever, I
hoped her mind would always take her here, to this place in her memories.
The nurse entered the room and stopped in her tracks. She, like I, was
taken by the talent sweeping across the floor. I gave the nurse a small
headshake and she nodded in understanding. I watched in silence as the nurse
approached my mother and took her by the hand.
Hesitation filled my mother and she planted her feet firmly in one spot.
“Wait,” she cried out and looked toward me. “Am I in?”
Confusion once again overtook me. “Are you in where?”
“The dance academy! Did I make it?”
I stared at my mother. Her petite body quivered in anticipation, and she
wore her heart on her sleeve. I offered her a sad smile. “Congratulations
Audrey. You are in. The dance was beautiful.”
My mother went weak in relief. Her eyes filled with wondrous tears and
her hands covered her heart. “Thank you. I promise, I won’t let you down.”
The nurse smiled at me and gently took my mother by the hand. She
allowed herself to be dragged away. All the while, she wore a beaming smile
as her mind drifted into the dark.
Katt Rose is an aspiring young writer who has a love of music, animals (horse lover) and writing. Katt is a true country girl at heart and would always rather be outside in her garden, on the beach or somewhere in the woods on her horse with her faithful dog by her side.
Katt studied Creative Writing and Journalism in University but decided to step into the health care field, after nursing her Oma back to health.
Years passed, but Katt could not silence the stories in her head. Once she began to write, she knew there would be no turning back. She was home. She is most proud of winning best fiction Apple Award of Excellence.
Katt Rose aims to be a well-known best-selling author, from the perfect stranger to someone you know. Remember, no dream is out of reach
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